Last week I turned 30. I secretly hoped that someone may hand over a key to life’s little problems and I’d wake up a serene and together 30-something. No such miracle arrived and really I don’t feel all that different! But over the last few years I have noticed a shift in my priorities, a change to what I think is important, and generally a little more security in who I am and where I want to go. As approached the beginning of a new decade (*gulp*) many thoughts about these changes have came to mind as the inevitable questions about what I might like the next few years to hold. I’ve always thought of the blog as a way to record how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking at certain times (even if it does exist a little bit in the background of the blog’s content), so I thought I’d take a moment to type out some thoughts.
It’s never too late. Around my 29th birthday I definitely had a few moments of -“AHHH” and “I’m not exactly where I thought I’d be in my career or home ownership at this age.” and “Is it too late to do something different?”. As I got to 30 I realised that I had to be proud of what I had achieved so far and felt assured that there is still time! Despite some of the rumours it’s not all down hill from here. In terms of my career, I think there’s always scope for change if I really work at it and think about what will make me happy.
Comparison is the thief of joy. An overused quotation I know but it sums up most of my 20s (probably my teens too) and is one thing I will be working on in my 30s. I find it so easy to compare myself to someone who has already achieved some of my goals. But we are all different, how we get to where we are is often based on circumstances, hard work and on some occasions pure luck. Next time I start to compare myself, I’m going to try to stop and use it to motivate me into positive action.
It’s OK to be me. At times I’ve been quite hard on myself on various things like not working harder when I was younger, being more confident when I’m naturally more shy, and just generally being more successful in, well, everything. But I’ve noticed over the last couple of years that I’ve got better at that. I still have a lot to offer, there’s a lot left to learn and quite a bit of time to learn it!
I love going out but I don’t crave it like I used to. One thing I’ve definitely noticed in the last 2-3 years is the decline on my Friday and Saturday nights out. It’s not that I don’t like going out and dancing the night away, it’s more that I don’t get that Friday or Saturday night “I must have plans to go out” feeling like I did in my early 20s. I’m as happy starting the weekend with a glass of wine on the sofa as I am in a cocktail bar. Equally I’m more conscious of where my disposable income goes and paying off my debts or saving for a holiday or house is now a bigger priority. “Every penny counts!”
It’s always quality not quantity when it comes to friendships. Emma Gannon wrote a great article called ‘The Friendship Massacre‘ and what resonated with me when I read it was how obsessed I was with having lots of friends in my 20s and I certainly over-thought the ones where we’d drifted apart over time. What I have grown to realise (but probably already knew deep down!) is that having friends who are there for you and totally get who you are is much more important, they’re the people to hold on to and make time for as you get older.
Never stop forming friendships. That said I always like the idea that I’ll never stop making friends. It’s always fun meeting people with common interests and I hope that many more people may come into my life even if it is sometimes a fleeting friendship.
It’s going to be a busy decade. The last year has been one of the busiest and I have a feeling that with more weddings, hen dos, buying a house (at some point in the next few years), keeping up with friends and family, and enjoying my favourite activities in between will surely mean many years of busy weeks and weekends.
A final thought and an open question…
Does age matter? In this day and age you can almost do anything at any age (depending on certain factors) so is it always important to distinguish between teens, 20-somethings, 30-somethings etc? I noticed a few weeks ago a blog that had put together a list of 30-something bloggers, and (not because I’m reluctant to join the group!) I wondered if the distinction was needed? I don’t think I’ve ever looked into the age of the writer behind the blogs I read, I just read the ones I most enjoy!